It has been indeed very long that I have not written here. I have been disconnected with myself, and things I said I wanted to do. I have purchased my own domain name for 1 year on WordPress since a few months ago, yet I delayed my first post for many reasons, one of them is probably just my huge habit of procrastination.
Today I was walking down my memories lane, through photos, through emails with a friend, and I saw my growth. I have no issues with how I look in the photos (past or present), but I did not like the reflection I saw on the notes that I sent to my friend.
I just wish I was ‘easier’ on myself, on my friends, on my parents, and on my partner. Everything I said or I did had to be so ‘right’ that I did not care how I tend to burn bridges, Ms. Righteous. I lacked empathy totally, I failed to see any other perspective except my own. Not that I’m able to cultivate empathy so much right now, but at least I will probably have more understanding and acceptance of myself, others and the differences as well.
Despite everything I had been in the past, I’m so grateful that at least I have been introspective at times, I tend to reflect. I’m also grateful that I still have the right set of people by my side who stick to me, and who will show me the way. I’m glad that I’m on the right track for adulting, and want my future self to like me, to thank me. I want to do most things right as much as possible. The areas that I want to see development is in Relationships, Health and Fitness, and Personal Finances.
I want to be able to differentiate what truly matters and what did not. I want to have ability to “let go” for those things that did not matter much.